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L. Ron Hoover: Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology! The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only! Don't you be Tarot-fied It's just a token of my extreme Don't you be Tarot-fied It's just a token of my extreme Don't you never try to look behind my eyes You don't wanna know what they have seen Don't you never try to look behind my eyes You don't wanna know what they have seen Joe: Some people think That if they go too far They'll never get back To where the rest of them are I might be crazy But there's one thing I know You might be surprised At what you find out when ya go! Oh oh oh Mystical Advisor What is my problem, tell me Can you see? L. Ron Hoover: Well, you have nothing to fear, my son! You are a Latent Appliance Fetishist, It appears to me! Joe: That all seems very, very strange I never craved a toaster Or a color T.V. L. Ron Hoover: A Latent Appliance Fetishist Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself That sexual gratification can only be acheived Through the use of MACHINES . . . Get the picture? Joe: Are you telling me I should come out of the closet now Mr. Ron? L. Ron Hoover: No, my son! You must go into THE CLOSET Joe: What? L. Ron Hoover: And you will have Joe: Eh? L. Ron Hoover: Hey! A lot of fun! That's where they all live So if you want an Appliance to love you You'll have to go in there 'N get you one Joe: Well . . . that seems simple enough . . . L. Ron Hoover: Yes, but if you want a really GOOD one, You'll have to learn a foreign language . . . Joe: German, for instance? L. Ron Hoover: That's right . . . A lot of really cute ones come from over there! (Fifty Please fill in the fields below and click SUBMIT to send it to your friend.
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