(This song is at 12:07 on Nan's Song)

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1... 2... 3... 4...

Is the Richard Geer gerbil story true?
Who came third in World War Two?
Did Sooty sleep with Sue?
These things I think about
When I'm out with you

What are the holes in biros for?
Which one's which in The Corrs?
Did Jeff Hirst really score?
'Cos frankly you're a bore
And I'm not

And if it's leaving season you're second on the bill
If you won't leave me baby,
I'll find someone who will
I tried love
I'm sorry
I tried love

Does God ever get it wrong?
Where has Gary Barlow gone?
Why is Christmas day so long?
It just goes on and on
And on
Like you

And if it's leaving season
You're the second on the bill
If you won't leave me, baby
I'll find someone who will
I tried love
I'm sorry
I tried love

Doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo
Doo do doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo
Doo do doo doo doo

I tried love
I'm sorry
I tried love

Why is there ketchup on my sleeve?
D'ya think that Adam fancied Eve?
What if Eve could not conceive?
And he had to breed with Steve?
We'd all be gay

*laughing*